Friday, October 19

new poem



back and making me know more again
finally belonging in the thick of your presence
around me wrapped tightly finally free
told to die to myself never realizing it
meant to give you control
fingers wrapped around feelings squeezing
hard until I couldn't feel
anything using crisp terms like processing to
avoidavoidavoidmoveon move on.
never experiencing never surrendering
governing the island of myself fingers
clumsily fumbling with lids fitting
anger loneliness bitterness sorrow
into boxes pushingawayavoidmoveon.
knowing the release of having managed
each little piece myself savoring
the word independent like a crown
and not ever looking up at your
sweet face until I felt you lift
it off my head your gentle fingers
uncurling tightened pains and smoothing out
my crinkled pages turning to newness and
the thick joy of hearing you constantly and
the delight of seeing myself reflected in
your eyes and knowing newly what it means to belong to
the best mystery I have ever believed in
you are the meaning you are the center you are everything
now free to depend and dwell in you tired of
control I never had in your
thick presence
wrapped around me


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