1. I am not being observed, scrutinized and judged by the entire world. I'm just really not that important! I wore a bikini for the first time in my life to a crowded Jersey beach yesterday. I completely let go of my self-consciousness, because I knew that not a lot of people would pay attention to me and fewer would care whether or not I was tan. Seriously! No one was paying attention to me, and it was so freeing to realize that. I just enjoyed the day with my two girlfriends and went home happy.
2. Romantic relationships by themselves hold no virtue or enjoyment. Although loving someone like that really taught me how selfish I am and how much I need God. And for that, and a thousand other lessons and joys, I am eternally grateful.
3. I have control over how I spend my time. Instead of viewing time as some wild river that whisks me through my day, I see it as chunks of life that I have 100% of a choice on how I want to spend it. I'm more aware of time passing now, and I don't get sucked into a book or website as easily as I used to.
4. I do not need to tame my personality, scale back on my dreams or slow down for ANYONE. And I absolutely refuse to apologize for being intense, passionate, imaginative and driven! Whoever can't keep up is just not going to ever be very chummy with me, because I'll have to slow down for them and compromise who God made to be. [This has been one of the biggest ones.]
5. My words have a huge impact on the people around me. I guess I never realized how free I am with what I say. Now I'm more guarded with how I talk (and gossip, whoops) about myself and others.
6. Dating in college has made me practical about my future. I'll go abroad, work in weird places, join AmeriCorps, whatever. And as I am busy focusing on something bigger than myself, I'll find someone along the journey.
7. It's okay to throw or give things away. Right now I'm cleaning my room, getting rid of all old things and just keeping it to the bare minimum of what I need. It's weird to watch my room morph from high school Jo to college Jo before my eyes. It's also an amazing feeling!
8. I am very inadequate. In fact, I am totally unable to do anything without the Lord. Let's be real, friends. Without Jesus, I would either be [A] Dead (see testimony) or [B] a naked gypsy nomad living in a yurt that smelled like weed, day drinking and writing terrible poetry. Let's all celebrate the presence of God in my life, shall we? Really though, I'm just living in this great place of not being good on my own at all. It's kind of the best.
9. God is always ready to teach me a new definition of fearlessness. I am terrified, distrusting, gawky and sometimes just plan disobedient. But whether that's kayaking straight into giant ocean waves or walking into random restaurants asking for a job, God is ready to supply me with the strength I need to do whatever crazy thing he has for me next. Which brings me to...
10. I am moving into a new chapter of life where I need to play the role of initiator. Basically I sit around a lot and wait for things to happen to me or for people to want to build a relationship with me. But recently God has been speaking to me through wise friends and stories about the prophet Elijah that it is time for me to get off my butt and start ministering to people by giving them the gift of going first, putting my neck out there and risking rejection to pursue what God is calling me to. WHICH SOUNDS SO SCARY! I'm terrified of knocking on my residents' doors for fear of being rejected or disliked. I'm terrified of seeking out a new church community in Jersey because I don't want to be uncomfortable. I will even wait for my friends to say they want to call me before I "risk" calling them. I am in this little room where I wait for people to open the door before I dare to venture out. NO MORE. I am sick of that little room. So get excited, because God is changing me into a new creation again, this time more obedient and more open to being let down or hurt, because I will be less fearful and less self-centered. I'm so excited.
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| What is a lesson you've been learning lately? |