ffffphoooooooh

Thar be the sound of me blowing off my dusty musty blog.

*creeaaaak*

That was the sound of me opening the cover of my imaginary blog.

*scribble scribble*

I'M TIRED. Wanna know why? Because I'm old and lazy and haven't worked out since I was on a swim team in 9th grade. My new year's resolution: work out more.

NOT BECAUSE I THINK I'M FAT. Sheeminy. Because I like being able to walk up the stairs without getting red in the face.

Stop laughing.

Not that going jogging helped. I use jogging in the loosest way possible. It was more of a bouncy walk. I bouncy-walked to my friend's house IN THIS WEATHER MIND YOU with tears of freezing running down my face, in my ghetto, I-grew-out-of-all-my-sweatpants, 80's workout getup. Yes ma'am, in public.

By the time I got across town, I was both humiliated and completely dead.

But my friend Caitlin and I went jogging anyway. in the cold. mostly uphill.

I get a call in the afternoon, when the feeling has mostly returned to my body, when I have already vowed to

1. spend the rest of the day not walking
and
2. never go jogging in the morning in january ever again.

I answer the phone and who is it but my dear friend Melissa, who asks me to cover her sister's shift at Chick-fil-A.

I'm noble and wonderful and I like money, so I say yes.

Hang up.

Regret it.

Regret it even more seven hours later as I whimper-limp out into the mall parking lot.

Sooooo.....anybody know any good leg stretches?