Love and stuff?

What's worse?

1.
Knowing that a nice, shy guy likes you, and has for a while, and just doesn't ask you out? Wondering if he'll ever say something and wondering if you even want him to?

OR

2.
Liking another nice, shy guy who travels in totally different circles than you, and when your paths do cross every month or so you're just another one of the bros? Wishing you knew him better as a friend but having no socially feasible way of making that happen?

OR

3.
Being single and content, enjoying deep and spiritual friendships with other women, being discipled by some amazing strong and older women, being loved on by some quality guy friends, and mentoring other younger women? Realizing if either of those guys were interested in me, I wouldn't want to date anyway? Wondering why I even long for a relationship when the actual reality [commitment, compromise, sacrifice] of it seems so unappealing right now?

I don't know which is worse. I'm in all three places at once. It's perfect for a Disney made-for-TV movie and we can all giggle about it and paint our nails with glitter polish.

But seriously. Excuse me. Let me file some complaints.

HEART. What up, girl? What are you even doing there up in my chest? You are making NO SENSE. How can you feel all three of those things at once? And why do you keep making me fall for shy guys? I'm getting tired of it. I think I'm supposed to end up with someone who can be a little cray. Can you work that one out for me someday? Thanks.

MIND. Get your stuff together! You're the logic. I'm depending on you to drive me out of this semester safe and boy-free. That's a big responsibility. I hope you can handle it. You're intelligent. You're driven. You know that you're too young to get into another relationship. You are calculating 17 different possible life directions for me in the next few months. Let's pull it together -- I'm relying on you.

SOUL. OK, so I'd make a great mom. OBVI duh. So I think marriage is a cool challenge. So those desires are cookin' in the crock pot in the back room of myself somewhere. Let's do something else right now. Can you and the Holy Spirit just...push me somewhere? Like, away from romance? And talk a little louder please about the whole rest-of-my-future thing? That would be convenient. I have the spiritual ears of a 89-year-old.

Okay, thanks,
xoxo Jo