- The more obsessed I am with God, the less I obsess over other things.
- My frustration with those small obsessions is the Holy Spirit inside of me pushing me away from desiring things and not God.
- Praying continually and reading the Bible every day fills me with the love I could not have for the people I cannot like and the tasks I cannot do.
- God delights in me, and that is why I am valuable.
- The more I discuss things like miniature frustrations with schoolwork and relationships, the more I allow them to take over me. Those conversations belong to God and my journal first.
- Typical men are not interested in pursuing a woman who does not need them. I am paradoxically annoyed and contented by that.
- Graduating will fix nothing in my own heart. I am who I am today, that is all. When I graduate, I will still be Joanna. I still have to deal with myself.
- God is opening my heart to receive more: to learn more, to know more of Him, to be humbled more, to serve more, to love people more. He is increasing my desire for Himself and for all the good gifts He gives. He is making my heart His by teaching me how to delight myself in Him. It's alright to desire deep friendships, to desire romance, to desire excitement and purpose. Because I can get all of those things from God and God alone.
Monday, December 3
here is my heart
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It's funny how our paths converge all of a sudden like this. I resonate very much. My Self has become obsessive in caring for its own being.
ReplyDeleteGod calls us to seek him. Jer. 29:13 - "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." He is not easily found sometimes! I mean, who would have thought to look in a stable to find the High King as a baby. And a gentle whisper? That's hard to hear. God manifests himself in ways we often cannot see, or easily miss if we are not looking. I have no idea what this has to do with your post, except that we should keep looking. He promises that we will find Him. Seek first His Kingdom and his righteousness (not ours! like I so often try to do). And all else will be taken care of. (Matt. 6:33) How crazy, I know for sure that your first 4 points were things that came to mind today. I'll be praying for you.
Oh Zann. I love you. Thank you for your thoughts and your friendship. These words are beautiful.
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