a peek into my soul. don't worry; it's not supposed to make sense.

The part of my soul that I know least and love most is hidden underneath these petty emotions

but here, wedged between faith and wonder is such an ecstasy, such a bright, aching joy.

When the layer of film is peeled back, I can feel that gigantic void, this hugeness hidden inside me.  I say to myself, it is too big for me now. I must fill it.

So I take a huge breath but still it isn't enough to touch those infinite corners, the edge of emotion and reality fold into each other and explode into little fireworks across my mind.

It is always so. Always too large.

I wonder, what would happen if I didn't breathe in? I could let that feeling lace around my heart until it covered myself. What if I let that joy squeeze me until all I could do is let out a little sigh, then wait?

But there are beginnings and ends to all true things.

It fades away, leaving me with a promise, a caress, a whisper.

A lingering hope that touches these hidden places, saying...

I still do not know.